


Spaces Between Us

by sunshinexbomb



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, Established Relationship, M/M, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-28 21:30:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11426565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinexbomb/pseuds/sunshinexbomb
Summary: Taylor, wasn’t alone. He had Rico, had everyone on theDevil’s crew. But. It wasn’t the same. Taylor’s known only one ship his entire life, and maybe the crew changed around him like clockwork, but he always had Jordan, always had Ryan.Leaving that behind was almost as hard as leaving behind the legacy he was trying to build around him.--In which Taylor gets Jordan back, but it's obvious that it's not enough.





	Spaces Between Us

**Author's Note:**

  * For [musicspeakstoo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicspeakstoo/gifts).



> I did not think I would actually be able to finish this but here we are!!! It's done!!!
> 
> For the prompt: "Star Trek AU/Fusion! are they all assigned to the Enterprise, trying to survive their five year mission given the red shirt mortality rate? OR, is Captain Hallsy going where no Canadian has gone before with his first officer Ebs and yeoman Nuge and the rest of the crew of the HMCS Edmonton? who knows? not me! go crazy with this one, if you're so inclined" It's not exactly Star Trek, but it's definitely a space fusion so I hope you still enjoy it!!
> 
> Thank you to Nicole, TC, Hailey, and Coco for looking this over and being encouraging! All other mistakes are my own.
> 
> This is clearly fictional, etc. etc. Title is from One Direction's "Spaces".

Taylor’s always the first one on the ship.

Two hours before takeoff, Taylor is there. There’s no steady hum of electricity, no scuffling of work boots, no excited whispers. There’s only Taylor and seemingly endless expanses of steel and iron and glass. 

The feel of this ship is still new, the controls still unfamiliar. Taylor runs his hand over the dials on the dashboard. He lets his fingers wrap around the steering for just a second. It’s been over a year and Taylor still gets that sinking, aching feeling in his gut every time he remembers: this is not his ship.

It could be, one day, maybe. For now it’s Greenie’s ship. After that it’ll be Rico’s. Then maybe he’ll get his chance again.

But then again, his old ship was never really his either. Taylor’s never been more than second in command, and sometimes he feels like that’s all he’ll ever be.

He lets his grip loosen on the steering. The navigation radar is dark, the screen blank. There’s a light layer of dust covering it, but it’s almost time for Taylor to take his seat in front of it, to guide and lead this new crew. Maybe he’s not the captain, but Taylor knows his role, his importance. This crew recruited him for a reason, and he doesn’t anticipate letting them down.

Soon, this ship will be thrumming with energy. Until then, however, Taylor will just have to wait.

\--

“Did you hear?” Rico asks. They’re only thirty minutes from take-off, and the words sound muted to Taylor’s ears. He’s deep in his head already, like he is before every mission. It’s easy to tune out the hustle behind him as everyone prepares to take flight, and even easier to ignore Rico. That is, until Rico jabs him hard with his elbow.

“What the fuck?” Taylor hisses, rubbing his ribs with a glare. Rico doesn’t look guilty at all.

“I asked, did you hear?” Rico repeats.

“Did I hear what?” Taylor mumbles. 

Really only half of his attention is on Rico. The navigation radar is glowing bright now, a complicated display of lines and trajectories that measure the vast distances between planets and galaxies. Taylor’s already input their coordinates for their destination, but that doesn’t mean his job is over for the day.

“Eberle’s been recruited.”

Taylor’s hand slips on the button in front of him, the radar screen suddenly zooming in on a satellite view of a galaxy thousands of light years from where they’re supposed to be. The zoomed out view shows a swirl of blue and orange gases and bright twinkling stars.

“What do you mean Jordan’s been _recruited?_ He has a ship, he has a crew -”

“Yeah, a new one on this side of the solar system,” Rico says, a lazy, smug grin unfurling on his face. “He’s with Tavares’ crew now.”

Taylor’s jaw drops a little.

“How?”

Rico shrugs, leaning back in his seat in front of weapon’s control. “A transfer. Him and Strome. Effective immediately.”

The soothing blankness of Taylor’s head is gone, replaced by a steady stream of questions, none of which Taylor can focus on long enough to actually ask. Before he decides on one, Greenie’s taking his place at the head of his console. He looks relaxed as always, but the usual excited tension that precedes a mission is thick in the air.

There’s no time for questions about Jordan now. Taylor has a job to do.

“Ready, Hall?” Greenie asks, adjusting the comms in his ears that connect him back to their homebase. 

Taylor swallows back his confusion, clearing his head again. With a few quick strokes of his keyboard he’s back on the screen he needs to be on, mapping out the path to their destination.

“Everything is in order, Captain.”

“Excellent,” Greenie says with a wide grin that Taylor can’t help but mirror. “Let’s do this then, boys.”

Taylor takes a second to close his eyes, and when he opens them, he’s ready for what’s coming up on hand.

\--

The flight’s on the longer side, a little over four hours. After they’ve stabilized and gone into auto-pilot, Taylor doesn’t wait a second to lock himself in his cabin, the heavy, metal door locking behind him with a snick.

Taylor takes a seat on his mattress, pulling out his vid-comm. When it’s in his hand, he freezes. What is he doing, what is he going to say, what is _Jordan_ going to say?

His fingers hover over Jordan’s name for a second, and before second-guessing himself, Taylor scrolls farther down his contacts, finding the entry listed _Nuge_ , and calls Ryan instead.

Ryan picks up immediately. He looks good, hair soft and usually fair skin sun-kissed. Taylor wonders where they’re working this week.

“I’m guessing you heard?” Ryan asks, managing only a small half-smile. 

Taylor swallows against a lump he didn’t even realize was growing in his throat. “It’s true then? He’s -?”

“Tavares’ crew, yup,” Ryan says.

“Oh man.”

Taylor lets it sink in. He hadn’t really had time to process it before, what having Jordan so close, really meant. They’re on the same fucking planet again, after a whole year.

“Are you happy?” 

There’s a sharper edge to Ryan’s voice than before, and Taylor’s quick to answer. “No.”

Ryan lets out a surprised laugh. “No? I’m sure Jordan will be glad to hear that.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Taylor shakes his head. Ryan’s smiling, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I just. Don’t want you to be alone.”

Ryan pauses, long enough that Taylor thinks for a split second that the feed’s frozen. Finally, he says, “You were alone.”

“Yeah, and it sucked,” Taylor replies dryly.

It’s meant to be a joke, but it’s not for the most part. Taylor, wasn’t _alone_. He had Rico, had everyone on the _Devil’_ s crew. But. It wasn’t the same. Taylor’s known only one ship his entire life, and maybe the crew changed around him like clockwork, but he always had Jordan, always had Ryan. 

Leaving that behind was almost as hard as leaving behind the legacy he was trying to build around him.

Ryan manages another small smile. “I have a crew. A ship. A job to do. I’m not alone.”

“I have all those things too, but-” Taylor stops, shrugs for a lack of anything better to say.

Ryan falls quiet again, but this time it’s Taylor to break the silence. “I miss you.”

“You miss _him_ ,” Ryan says, quick to respond.

“I miss you both,” Taylor says firmly despite the tightening in his chest. “I called _you_ first, didn’t I?”

Ryan has no response to that and Taylor really has nothing else to add.

For the first time since they’ve started talking, Taylor takes a second to really look at Ryan. He’s in his street clothes, a plain t-shirt with the emblem of their ship, a navy oil drop, stitched on the chest. It looks like he’s in his bunk also, and Taylor wonders once again where he is, if it’s somewhere with night and day, with seasons, with sentient life-forms. Or maybe he’s still traveling like Taylor is, just cruising along somewhere in the endless vast emptiness of space. 

Taylor does miss Ryan, misses Jordan too, misses being _together._

Taylor’s always been good at measuring distances, at calculating and creating routes and paths for better, more efficient navigation. The only distance he’s never been able to grasp is the one growing between the three of them.

“You should call him too,” Ryan says. “Sooner rather than later, yeah? He’ll want to hear from you.”

“I will,” Taylor promises.

Ryan nods, and then adds, “I miss you too.”

Taylor feels that tightening in his chest again. “We’ll see you soon.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

The comm shuts off with a hiss. Taylor sighs heavily, lying back in his bunk and taking a second to just breathe.

\--

Taylor is recruited to the _Oiler_ ’s crew straight out of the Space Academy. There’s a lot of buzz, a lot of whispers about the boy who has the potential to one day be captain and help lead a crew who’s fallen down the ranks over the years. 

It’s an expedition organization, one that hasn’t had much success the past few years as far as new discoveries and planetary gains are concerned. They’ve lost funding, lost crewmates, lost a lot of their hope. But they’re re-building, bringing in new, young talent with open minds and fresh perspectives. People like Taylor, people like Jordan who scored high at the Space Academy and could quickly climb the ranks and help the crew gain back their former glory.

Jordan’s recruited the same year, the two of them bunkmates in the cabins and eventually roommates back on homebase. They work well together, something that everyone can easily see. 

Taylor sticks close to Jordan that first year. Sometimes, it’s easy to get lost in the endless vacuum of space, in the adventure, in the unknown. Sometimes, it feels _too_ big and sometimes Taylor feels too far from home.

Their homebase planet is cold, far off on the edges of the galaxy and far enough from the solar system’s two suns that it’s snowy all year round. When it’s warm, Taylor is reminded of wintry days in Alberta and playing shinny with the neighborhood kids. That first year, on the few days a year they’re allowed outside the artificial warmth of their bio-dome base, Taylor drags Jordan outside and makes him lie in the snowbank. They look up at the sky, at unfamiliar constellations and swirling clouds of gas that make up distant galaxies. 

“It almost feels like home, doesn’t it?” Taylor asks. He can feel the brush of Jordan’s gloved fingers against the bit of skin exposed by his jacket riding up his arm.

The snow is swirling down in fat, wet flakes. They clump in Jordan’s eyelashes, in the fringe of his hair poking out from his toque. “It’s better than being home,” Jordan says. “We have so much more here than we have at home. Like, fuck, Hallsy, we have like a _purpose_. A crew that depends on us. We have each other.”

Taylor’s face flushes warm, Jordan’s fingers wrapping around his wrist for a brief second. In the moment, the universe suddenly doesn’t seem as vast, not when to Taylor, the entirety of it is focused on the pink of Jordan’s cheeks and the sweetness of his gap-toothed smile.

\--

Taylor’s called back to the control room before he works up the nerve to talk to Jordan. 

Eight years and Taylor’s freaking out over a video call, jesus.

“Is there a problem?” Taylor asks with a frown. They should be on course with the navigation pattern that Taylor’s set up for the pilots.

Rico’s face is tense, the worry lines around his mouth matching the deeper set ones on Greenie’s face who’s working on overriding the autopilot. “Solar storm brewing in our path. We might need to touch down somewhere.”

“Fuck.”

Taylor’s quick to return to his seat, zooming out on the navigation screen before repeating the curse even louder. He swears the storm wasn’t there before, but it’s crystal clear now on the satellite view. 

“Taylor can you find us the nearest base?” Greenie asks. His own holoscreen is up on the dashboard, trying to make contact with someone nearby or with homebase, but they all know Taylor can do the job faster.

The tension is thick and heavy set in the air as Taylor works, but it doesn’t take him long to find something, a place where they can land and reevaluate their options. “There’s a planet we’ve visited before that’s not too far from here where they’ve started a base. It’ll take us wildly off course but it’s our best options for another couple thousands miles.”

“Make it happen then, Hall,” Greenie says and Taylor nods. He draws up a new navigation path, making sure to avoiding the angry red and yellow swirls of solar storm. He sends the coordinates to Greenie and sits back, knowing that they have a bumpy journey ahead of them. 

\--

The planet they land on is on a different galaxy from where they should be, but they’re safe and out of reach of the storm so Taylor is counting his blessings.

There’s no biodome on the planet and Taylor’s glad to breathe fresh, non-recycled air again as they head from the landing dock to the main base. They have a few hours to themselves before they have to regroup to decide how to proceed with the rest of the mission. It’ll be up to Greenie and Zajac and Rico for the most part, the rest of them just waiting to hear and follow orders. 

There’s a few other crews stationed at the base already. Some just passing through like Taylor’s, others there for long-term missions as they start to expand across the planet. It’s a smaller base, but it feels busy with the amount of people it’s currently holding, most of them thrumming with excited energy Taylor associates with being somewhere new.

Taylor declines an invitation from the crew to get lunch, separating himself instead to find somewhere quiet.

The layout of the base is simple, and it doesn’t take long for Taylor to come across a lounge. It’s small but cozy, just enough to house more transient travelers who need a place to crash for a few hours before heading on their way.

Taylor takes a seat near the back, in an arm chair in front of a window. The planet is warm and dusty, but it’s beautiful, the desert sand a deep red in the setting sun. Not for the first time, Taylor feels lucky that these are the things he gets to see and experience every day, brilliant planets and galaxies that he couldn’t even imagine seeing back home.

He pulls his vid-comm out of his pocket. It’s almost out of battery after his conversation with Ryan, and this time, he doesn’t hesitate before calling Jordan. There’s no telling when he’ll get another chance.

It rings, trying to connect, and then. The call fails.

Taylor wrinkles his brow and tries again. Again - ring, connect, fail.

“What the fuck?” Taylor mumbles when it fails a third time. 

In the middle of the fourth attempt, Taylor’s vid-comm dies completely. “Fuck,” he says more loudly.

“Don’t think your mother would like to hear you talking like that.”

Taylor jumps in surprise. “What the fuck?” Taylor repeats, turning around.

Jordan’s standing there, his hair shorter than the last time they’d spoken, but with the same smile, the same blue eyes.

“Is that the only thing you remember how to say now? Is that the reason you haven’t been calling me?” Jordan asks with a laugh.

“Shut up,” Taylor says before closing the gap between them and wrapping his arms around Jordan.

Jordan hugs back just as tightly. It’s been a _year_ since Taylor’s seen him, touched him, and god, this moment doesn’t even feel real. He smells clean and familiar and when he kisses Taylor, Taylor feels a part of him settle, an aching in his gut that he didn’t even realize was there easing back a little.

“What are you doing here?” Taylor asks, pulling Jordan down so he’s sitting in the empty chair next to where Taylor just was sitting. 

“This is where we’re stationed for a couple months. Tavares’ crew does a lot of exploration and mapping, and what better place to do it, right?”

Taylor bites down on his bottom lip and hugs Jordan again, ignoring the armrest between them digging into his waist and the awkward twist of his torso. Jordan just laughs, hugs him back just as tightly.

“I’ve missed you so fucking much, did you know that?” Taylor asks.

“I have a bit of an idea.”

Taylor knows he’s being absolutely ridiculous, that it’s only been a year, but a year feels _so long_ and now Jordan’s finally here and Taylor feels almost complete again.

\--

Rico sends them all a message that they’re setting up for take-off in about three hours and that the time until then is theirs. 

Taylor doesn’t let Jordan leave his sight for a second.

“What if I have work to do?” Jordan asks, laughing into Taylor’s mouth as they find somewhere more private, a sleeping cabin that looks like it hasn’t been in use recently.

“Don’t care. I only have you for a few hours and I’m not wasting it.”

Taylor can’t stop touching Jordan, the curve of his back, his broad shoulders. But when they’re lying there, Jordan’s head on Taylor’s chest, Taylor still feels like something is missing.

“I miss Ryan too,” he says quietly. “This just feels - not right, y’know. Not - enough.”

“Thanks,” Jordan says dryly, but then adds a bit more softly, “that’s how this whole year’s felt. Without you, I mean. Like I love Ryan and I know he loves me, but -”

“Yeah.”

“Is this what it’s always going to be like now?” Jordan asks, bitterly. His fingers tighten a bit where they’re wrapped around Taylor’s arm. “Just two of us, maybe, if we’re lucky. What if Ryan gets transferred too, somewhere even farther, then what? Fucking hell, Taylor I hate this.”

“Is it better than nothing?” Taylor asks, his stomach in tight knots. He doesn’t know the answer himself, doesn’t know if he wants to hear Jordan’s reply either.

“I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not.”

“I don’t want to lose you, either of you.”

Jordan kisses Taylor’s chest, soft, warm. “Me either. But -”

“Yeah.”

It’s quiet between the two of them, but Taylor doesn’t mind. Taylor’s missed all of it, even hearing the soft, even sounds of Jordan’s breathing. They don’t have this moment for long, and Taylor thinks that, yeah, it definitely is better than nothing.

\--

A year is a long time, but Taylor learns quickly that time is hard to measure where they are. A year means nothing when they’re on planets where the sun never sets or where it’s far enough away that there’s barely ever light. They count in seconds, minutes, hours, days. But they’re Earth measurements, counted out of habit.

Even then, a year is a long time.

For a year, it’s just him and Jordan. And then they meet Ryan.

Ryan joins the _Oiler_ ’s crew shy and quiet but absolutely brilliant. He’s put on a mission team with Taylor and Jordan and they all just - click. If Taylor had a way with words, he could probably think of a better metaphor, but the only way he can describe it is like finding the missing piece of a puzzle, one that sits snug and tight in his chest every time Ryan smiles.

With Ryan there with them, the universe suddenly feels just a little bit smaller, a little bit more manageable.

Taylor doesn’t feel quite as alone.

“Does it ever feel like too much?” Ryan asks one night.

There’s an observation deck on the ship where he likes to sit, but that Taylor usually likes to avoid. When they’re in flight, all there is is the endless expanse of space, black sky and white stars and it’s overwhelming in a way that Taylor can’t handle. Ryan loves it, though, loves the reminder of where they are and where they’re going.

“Does what feel like too much?” Taylor asks.

Ryan shrugs. His hands are right along the railing in front of him, separating them from the glass window that makes up the fourth wall of the deck. “What we’re doing. Where we are. What we’re supposed to accomplish. All of it.”

Taylor doesn’t know if he should be honest, if he should admit that, more often than not, he’s fucking terrified. 

“When it feels like too much, I usually think of home,” Taylor says instead. “And sometimes, I think about Jordan. And about you.”

Ryan blushes, eyes wide as he turns toward Taylor.

“You just have to find what keeps you grounded. It’s easy to get lost up here,” Taylor says, hoping his confidence doesn’t waver. He puts his hand on top of Ryan’s, relieved when the tension in his grip loosens. 

They look out the window together, the line of Ryan’s shoulder warm against Taylor’s. It’s calming for Taylor too and even the view outside doesn’t feel as overwhelming as usual.

\--

Leaving Jordan behind is almost as hard as it was the first time.

“But now you know I’m just a few thousand miles away,” Jordan says with a small smile. Taylor’s crew is gathered outside the ship, getting ready to board, and Taylor’s standing with Jordan a little ways away from the chaos of it all.

“Better than an entire galaxy, I suppose.” 

“When this mission ends, we’ll make some time. We’ll go to see Ryan. Together.”

Taylor smiles but it’s half-hearted. There’s always another mission, and they both know it. Making time is - not easy. A year is a long time, but it also passes by more quickly than Taylor would like. There’s no telling when they’ll both be free, if they could make it back to Ryan or even to each other. 

“We can try.”

Jordan kisses him, soft and sweet and lingering. Taylor doesn’t want him to let go, doesn’t want to leave. 

“Hallsy, this ship probably can’t leave without you, but it will if you don’t hurry up,” Rico calls from the bottom of the steps leading up to the entrance.

Taylor sighs and kisses Jordan one more time. “Until next time.”

He doesn’t want to say goodbye, but he does.

\--

**Epilogue**

Ryan’s transfer doesn’t come as a surprise.

There’s barely anyone left from Taylor’s days on the _Oiler_ ’s, many of the crew retired, others transferred, some leaving of their own accord to try and find success out there.

It’s not a surprise, but it’s a disappointment, just another reminder that none of them were able to bring the crew the success that they were supposed to. That the organization is doing better these days, but under a new captain, one that wasn’t there to help build it from the ground up.

But sometimes that’s just the way things work out and there’s nothing Taylor can do about it.

Ryan’s transfer isn’t immediate and Taylor’s not on a mission, not after coming down from a months-long expedition. When they meet up, it’s not on a long-distant planet, it’s back at their home planet. Taylor’s never been so thankful to feel the sun on his skin, to feel California sand in between his toes, to be able to _breathe_ easily and freely. He’s missed home, missed Ryan, missed Jordan whose entire crew has been home-based for about a month now.

“How many days until the transfer is official?” Jordan asks. They’re on the beach, skin sticky with sweat and sunscreen. Ryan’s nose is already turning pink and Taylor’s shoulders feel too-warm. He wouldn’t choose to be anywhere else.

“Just a few days,” Ryan says. His head is in Taylor’s lap, Taylor running fingers through his hair.

"Well, we have some time at least,” Taylor says.

“Better than nothing,” Jordan says his smile large, genuine. His eyes are covered in sunglasses, but Taylor can imagine the laugh lines at the corner of them.

Taylor doesn’t want to think about what will happen in a few days, what it will feel like when Ryan leaves and it’s just him and Jordan again. What it will feel like when he leaves too and all of them are separated by thousands and thousands of miles again. 

At this moment, the universe feels small and manageable. The universe is the sea lapping against the shore and the warmth of Jordan’s skin against his and the lazy grin on Ryan’s face. It’s everything Taylor needs and he wants to stay in the moment for as long as he can.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Kudos and comments are always appreciated :D


End file.
